In an ideal situation, your elderly family member has already made all of the decisions she needs to make about her care at the end of her life and how she wants that experience to go. But all too often, that’s a conversation that has been difficult to have.
Go Ahead and Admit This Is Difficult
It’s okay to acknowledge that this conversation and this topic are not easy at all. When you do that, you remind your senior and yourself that you’re both human. Forging ahead, despite the difficulty, is what’s important. That’s not to say you’re definitely going to iron out everything in one conversation. You might need to split the details up into more than one talk.
She’s Already Dealing with Fear, so Try Not to Add to It
Lots of people are afraid about what happens at the end of life and especially afterward. That might describe your elderly family member to a “T” right now. If you’re accidentally adding to that fear with your own and by using fear-driven language, that’s going to backfire. Try not to use your senior’s fear as a lever to get her to continue to talk to her about these issues. She may end up experiencing more pain from that than you realize.
Share What You’ve Decided
One of the side effects of being a caregiver to someone who is near the end of life is that you start to deal with your own mortality. As you have done more research and exploring on your own, you may have started to think about your own end-of-life wishes. If you have, share what you’ve decided with your elderly family member. Hearing about how you’ve made some of these difficult decisions can help her to follow suit.
Focus on Meeting Her Wishes and Expectations
You may want to emphasize to your senior that although these are difficult conversations, they’re important because they’re the best way for you to know what she wants and expects out of this time in her life. By placing her focus on helping you to know that you’re doing what she wants, you’re encouraging her to view this as something that she can do for you.
It’s normal to feel a little bit lost or at loose ends if your elderly family member isn’t sharing her final wishes with you. If you need additional resources, end-of-life care providers can help you and your senior to find what you need.
If you are or a loved one is considering end-of-life care in Tucker, GA, please call the caring staff at Arcturus Hospice and Palliative Care today. Call 678-383-9973 today to speak to our care team.
Kate Gorinshteyn is the director of marketing at Arcturus Health Care. Arcturus is a fast-growing Hospice striving to provide the highest level of quality care to patients faced with life-limiting illnesses. Our goal is to make each patient as pain-free as possible and give physiological, emotional and spiritual support to both the patient and family. We understand that the decision change from curative to comfort care is difficult, and our team is trained to help you every step of the way!
We are proud to make a difference in the lives of those we serve.
